Trust...

If you can't trust yourself, then who can you trust?  A bit cliche, but this is too true.  The only way to establish trust in others is to trust your own judgement of other people.  This isn't just following your gut, but also being able to interpret events and actions when deciding who to place trust in (and what sorts of trust to place in which people!).

One thing I talked about with my psychologist this week should have been blatantly obvious, but somehow I'd never consciously considered it.  Trust doesn't have to be all or nothing.  I can trust myself (and others) with some things, but not necessarily with all things.

So, in an effort to define trust for myself, I'm going to create some categories and try to determine where I can and can't trust others.  Of course, not all of this is black and white, this is just a general guideline to make understanding trust easier for me.

Self:

• I can trust myself to take care of my pets
• I can trust myself to carefully consider all facts before making a decision
• I can trust that I will always try to have empathy towards other human beings
• I can trust that I am at least reasonably intelligent

• I can't trust myself to always be right 
• I can't trust my body to not hurt
• I can't trust myself with physical work
• I can't trust myself to remember things and do them
• I can't trust myself with money

Friends

• I can trust my friends to have some empathy for me
• I can trust my friends to do their best to help me out
• I can trust that my friends give me good advice (in their own opinion)
• I can trust that my friends want to hang out with me

• I can't trust my friends to always be there for me
• I can't trust friends not to judge me for my problems
• I can't trust my friends to be 100% honest
• I can't trust friends always be right
• I can't trust that friends will do what they say

Strangers

• I can trust that most strangers don't want to hurt me
• I can trust that strangers are mostly minding their own business

• I can't trust that all strangers are friendly
• I can't trust strangers with anything personal
• I shouldn't trust a stranger's judgement of me

Family

• I can trust my family to be there for me as much as possible
• I can trust my family to help me (or be helped) financially
• I can trust advice given to me by family
• I can trust that my family loves me and would not intentionally be hurtful

• I can't trust that my family will always be honest with me
• I can't trust my family not to judge me for my issues
• I can't trust that family will always do what they say they will do

I know I won't always be 100% right in all this, because every individual is slightly different.  But this at least gives me a base line to start from.

It is also possible to use external things to help me trust myself more.  For example, keeping a calendar would probably help me trust myself more to remember what I need to do.

I think the most important thing for me to keep in mind is that one failure doesn't necessarily mean that I can't ever trust myself (or others) in that area ever again.  Patterns are what I need to look for, not single events.  Trust is always evolving in many different areas.  Some small and seemingly insignificant events may break trust more than other larger things.  But, as long as I trust myself to make solid judgments based on the information I have, I should be able to use trust to my own advantage.

Biggles trying to teach about our so-called human trust!!