Doh!!

Yesterday was kinda weird--I accidentally totally missed 2 important doctors appointments and I don't know how I managed it.  I mean, I knew that I had appointments on Wednesday.  But, for some reason, I just wasn't thinking clearly about what day it was.  When things like that happen, I tend to really get upset at myself and my failures.  I think about all the other times I've missed appointments, and start doubting my ability to cope with 'life'.  I mean, if I can't even remember important appointments that were on my calendar and I 'knew' were happening, then what 'can' I do?

But, then I have to remind myself that we are all human, and I was actually working most of the morning yesterday.  In fact, I suspect that I was so worried about having to work, that I totally forgot my other appointments.  Working tends to make me really worked up and anxious because I have to be 'responsible' for someone else's stuff and money and business.  Anxiety destroys my memory as it tends to discourage 'thought' and encourage 'fight or flight' type hormones.  This makes it much more likely that I will somehow miss my appointments.

The anxiety isn't really rational, so I hate to acknowledge it, but it is consistent and powerful, so something deeper must be going on.  Since it is affecting my life, I 'have' to acknowledge and accept those feelings of anxiety.  The question is, are those feelings worth the one day a week of work?  And, is working at Chuck's helping me to overcome those feelings of anxiety?  Right now, I don't feel like it does--though it does make me face my fears and overcome them.  Just not sure if its worth the cost on my life, especially since I don't really know 'why' it is that I am so anxious about working and don't know how to fix the problem.  I won't be able to work once I get my pension from L&I anyways, so why not just quit?  But, I feel a need to challenge myself, and it is a challenge.  Maybe I just shouldn't schedule appointments on the same day that I work... or maybe I should just volunteer more!

Updated Goal: Pushups


Did my pushups late last night (but I did get them done!).  I did a total of 71 pushups in 5 sets (14, 16, 12, 12, 17).  Also did some situps and other exercises, but not as much as I would have liked.


Goal:  Try to cook at least once or twice a week.  


We have been doing theme weeks to try to reduce waste, and that has been going well.  This week's theme is Greek food, so last night I made some Greek Lasagna that I always enjoy.  


Video of part of the assembly:

The finished product... mmm, delicious feta cheese!!